It only took three and a half years to start what feels to me very "Doogie Howserish", but it feels good to type on a computer and not be ordering the usual on Diapers.com, posting a kid or dog pic on Facebook or rsvping to an EVITE for another kiddie birthday party. I can't catch up from 3.5 years until now, other than to say that a 3.5 and 19 month old make time crawl and fly by at the same time. There will be no textbook parenting advice (does that really exist?), other than me sharing any wisdom I may have accidentally stumbled upon in the past few years. I have, however, become very good at jedi mind tricking a 3.5 year old, so I suppose I will share that valuable information.
So, the title. Many of my first choices not available, however, I was happy to see that No Sleep till EVER was not yet taken--maybe parenting sleep references and Beastie Boys aren't often grouped together? Because as a parent of young children (and maybe older ones too, we'll see), I think we can all agree that an awesome night's sleep would be just, well, awesome. I still have visions of my old sectional couch that I would lie on (pre kids), watch Sixteen Candles for the 80th time, drifting off and waking on my own accord. It was MY nap to be had and I dictated when it would start and finish. I miss that, I truly do. While we all think the sound of little feet is adorable, that nap was so perfect and I had no idea how special it was at the time.
I'm CEO of the household (I hate the label Stay at Home Mom, it just doesn't do the job justice). But I truly do feel like the CEO--I'm looking out for the company (family), make most of the decisions, an asshole sometimes but always have everyone's best interests in mind. So far, it's the most demanding work I've ever had, and I've had some pretty tough jobs. However, I chose this job and do not regret it. I probably did in the early stages, but I think I've doubted all the jobs I've ever had at some point. So, here goes nothing...
Wow, picking this post up about 9 months later. Yup, that's about how it goes with my life these days. I had a 3 hour deadline in my old office job and could get it done in 2.5, but the story is different now. I have to say, many months later and sleep is IMPROVED!! For now. Ok, I've surely just jinxed myself with the toddler gods. If you haven't heard of them, maybe you just don't know their official name. They are the gods of small children who are there to jinx you when you say "my child sleeps thru the night" and "we haven't been sick in months." They can't let you get too confidant or humble, because then parenting would be easy. They are there to keep you in check so you don't get too cocky. So my advice--you can think you are having a good run with sleep, be really psyched your kids are eating all their veggies, happy you haven't wiped a runny nose in weeks, but whatever you do, DO NOT SAY IT OUT LOUD to anyone. They are always listening. So let's move on before they tune in and screw me over with my next two weeks of sleep and health.
Since this blog was born out of sleep on my mind, I'd like to spend a good deal of time addressing this issue. Full disclosure--I'm not a certified sleep trainer or therapist, but I've spent almost every night for the past 4.5 years obsessing over the topic. The most significant changes came when I simply couldn't take it anymore and mustered up enough mental strength to break the terribly horrible sleeping habits. The most monumental one being my son's nighttime ritual that somehow sucked me in for way too long. I was never great at the cry it out technique, so it went from "good night", door shut, wailing to me running in 5 minutes later with an "ok, I'll sit here while you go night night." That followed us from the crib to the big boy bed just before 3 years old. Next, the 3 year old savvy manipulation kicked in and so began the "mommy, don't go, I'm scared." Every night, an exhausted me would lie in his bed next to him until we both passed out, me being first -- ALWAYS. And here's how it played out: me waking at 11pm in a jolt, only to realize that my night of watching HGTV was totally blown. The routine got worse and worse. He drifted to sleep with one eye open making sure I wouldn't leave the room. When he would finally fall asleep, it was only to be interrupted hours later when he realized I was gone and a screaming "I need you mommy" would ensue around 4am. The tired and furious me grew, and grew and grew and grew until I couldn't take it anymore. About six months later, I flat out shouted my frustration like I was breaking up with a college boyfriend: "I love you, but I need my space, my bed, and my time!" I waited for his reaction to suck me back in, but surprisingly, it didn't. He looked insulted and sad, but I walked away, and there were only a few cries for me that night. The next few nights the screams that sounded like he was being tortured began, but I held strong. I often had to escape the premises to avoid caving, so, many long showers, a long walk or drive to the grocery store during the "wailing mamas" were common. But, the end result was a success. It felt really good to have my time back and know I taught him a skill. Like many children, he's not fearless at bedtime now, but he takes my assurance every night that there are no monsters, he's safe, and I love him with all my heart. What more could we both ask for?
